SHARED PARENTING PRESUMPTION PUTS CHILDREN AT RISK!

Child sexual abuse victims are treated differently based on their relationship with the alleged abuser. The legal system tends to take cases seriously only when the suspect is a stranger. Law enforcement typically leads investigations by interviewing suspects and exploring evidence for charges.

Unfortunately, many child abuse cases involve perpetrators known to the victim within the family circle such as fathers or stepfathers. Social workers usually handle these investigations, and most often than not, parents are given notice before interviews take place. This advance notice may allow them to tamper with evidence or influence their child’s testimony thus hindering efforts to collect evidence for legal action.

In situations where a custody battle is pending, the absence of evidence is often taken as an indication that the mother influenced the child’s statements, also known as “the mother is coaching the child” built-in defense. Similarly, when no legal action is pursued against the accused party, it is seen as evidence that the accusation must likely be untrue.

Within custody battles, there is a prevailing attitude of skepticism towards any claims of child abuse. Family law attorneys frequently dissuade mothers from addressing these issues even when the evidence is more than enough to convict in a criminal court.

Courts commonly issue orders that effectively silence children involved in DV cases. They typically rely on custody evaluators and other professionals, to include Guardians ad Litem, all who often lack specialized expertise in handling child sexual abuse matters and/or have no experience with DV dynamics.

Many of the challenges faced in family court stem from the misconception that children require an equal amount of time with both parents. In reality, children prioritize their safe parent over the abusive parent and seek safety from the safe parent, predominantly the mother. While having both parents involved in their lives can be beneficial, it is crucial that both parents provide a safe environment for their children. If a parent’s inadequate parenting causes fear and stress for a child, they are doing more harm than good.

Likewise, decisions regarding visitation should prioritize reducing the child’s anxiety and tension. This implies that visitation should be supervised until or unless the abuser shows signs of change. The cessation of the relationship via court order does not automatically put an end to abuse. The abuser must complete a program focused on accountability and demonstrate to a judge that unsupervised visits are safe. The court should take into account whether the person responsible for the abuse acknowledges their actions and understands the harm caused.

There are opinions on the advantages of shared parenting arrangements. Most reputable researchers agree that it can be beneficial under specific conditions. Shared parenting can be positive for children when both parents willingly agree to cooperate well and live close by. In cases of domestic violence and child abuse, where there is an imbalance of power, co-parenting can be harmful. Research shows that abusers may use decision making to exert control by opposing anything desired by the mother and may even use visitation exchanges as opportunities to intimidate or harm their victims.

Judges and other legal professionals often hear that children thrive with both parents actively involved in their lives. This holds true in cases where both parents show love and provide an environment for their children. While losing a parent can be detrimental to children, enduring abuse from one parent has severe consequences.

Emotional abuse of children by men who batter is even more likely than physical abuse because nearly all of these men’s children are exposed to domestic violence. This exposure to domestic abuse by their fathers often constitutes a severe form of child abuse.

Ensuring the well being and safety of children should always come first even if it means prioritizing their welfare over maintaining a relationship with a parent whose actions are more harmful than beneficial. According to the findings of the Saunders study, it is crucial for professionals dealing with abuse cases to possess knowledge about domestic violence and child abuse. Judges should assess this expertise before assigning roles to evaluators, GALs or other “neutral professionals”. It is essential for judges to scrutinize reports and recommendations and verify if the professionals exhibit proficiency and expertise in the areas recommended by Saunders. In the absence of expertise regarding domestic violence and child abuse, any reports and recommendations should be disregarded.